


Redemption

by corrupt_kitty



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Star Wars Setting, Attempted Murder, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Ben Solo has anxiety, Ben Solo is alive, F/M, Finn Is Secretly In Love With Rey, Kylo Ren Redemption, Light Sexual Content, Protective Ben Solo, Redeemed Ben Solo, anakins ghost, ben says goodbye to leia, ben tries to be good, bunch of virgins, chewie cries, everyone hates ben, finn really hates ben, finn yells rey a lot, han solos ghost, maybe with Poe too, might be more later but idk yet, might be smut but idk yet, rey and ben love eachother, sequel au, who knows what this story will become
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:40:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23791723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/corrupt_kitty/pseuds/corrupt_kitty
Summary: “Her eyes roamed to his lips, her hand lifting slowly to caress his cheek. They felt the connection immediately. Both leaning in, their lips collided in a passionate kiss full of love and gratitude.They unconnected and she gazed into his honey brown eyes. Ben cracked a crooked toothy smile. Rey’s heart fluttered at the sight of him smiling for the first time.”After Ben saves Rey’s life, he lives and is able to go back to the resistance base. But how will they treat a prior mass murderer and torturer.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Poe Dameron/Finn, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 18
Kudos: 26





	1. Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This is my first fic ever and I have a lot of ideas for this so stay tuned!

Rey opened her eyes to the feeling of a hand resting on her lower stomach. She felt the power radiating off of the hand, healing her. She looked up and saw the face of her familiar and new ally Ben Solo. She scrambled up to a sitting position and looked into her saviors eyes.

“Ben,” Rey spoke lowly

She stared into his eyes looking for a sign of what he was thinking. 

Her eyes roamed to his lips, her hand lifting slowly to caress his cheek. They felt the connection immediately. Both leaning in, their lips collided in a passionate kiss full of love and gratitude.

They unconnected and she gazed into his honey brown eyes. Ben cracked a crooked toothy smile. Rey’s heart fluttered at the sight of him smiling for the first time.

“I gave you half of my energy to save you,” Ben quietly murmured, eyes focused on Rey’s.

“Thank you Ben,” Rey answered, pulling him into a tight embrace. 

She couldn’t explain in words how she felt. Everything seemed right in the galaxy. Palpatine was finally dead. For good this time. The Resistance was okay and the Final Order no longer existed. And she had Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren, in her arms.

“We should get going, so the Resistance knows we are okay,” Rey said.

“I can’t come with you,” kylo answered, looking down to the floor beneath them.

“Why? You have to. Where else would you go?” Rey questioned.

“I’ve done horrible things to the resistance and to the galaxy,” he huffed, “What makes you think the resistance would even be okay with me there. I’ll probably be killed on site.”

“I won’t let that happen Ben. I know you have changed. They will understand,” Rey promised as she grabbed his hand in hers.

Rey stood up, leaned down and helped Ben off the floor. They walked hand in hand back to Luke’s X-wing. 

Rey felt the anxiety radiating off of Ben.

“It’s okay Ben. They will accept you. They accept everyone. You just have to prove that you have changed from being Kylo Ren,” Rey assured him.

They kept walking and boarded the ship. Rey started up the X-wing and they flew off towards the outer rim territories. They made their way to Ajan Kloss, the jungle moon where the resistance had been recovering from the first order attacks. The beautiful green, blue, and white swirls came into view. Rey couldn’t wait to be reunited with her family again.

Rey lands the X-wing and hops out.

“Just stay here for a second. I’m gonna tell them about you first,” Rey said.

Ben nodded and stayed in his seat. Rey walked around trying to find her friends. Everyone left in the resistance was crowded around hugging and being reunited with their friends and family. Rey smiled to herself knowing she’ll be able to have that too. She slid through the crowd when he finally sees Poe and Finn looking around as well. They made eye contact and ran to each other.

“You guys are okay!” Rey yelled as she wraps both her arms around them in a tight embrace.

They stayed that way for a minute, reveling in the fact the others were still alive and well.

“Guys, so there’s something i have to-“ 

“Why is he here,” Finn grunted, his eyes focused behind Rey.

Rey quickly spun around to find Ben out of the X-wing walking towards her.

“I told you to stay in the ship, Ben,” Rey jeered.

The next events happened very quickly.

All around Ben, everyone had their weapons raised and focused on Ben. He threw his hands up in surrender.

“No guys. Wait he’s-“ 

“Tell me one good reason why I shouldn’t blow your head off your shoulders,” Finn growled, with his blaster raised and ready to shoot.

“I’d like to see you try FN-2187,” Ben taunted.

Pew

The blast was suspended in mid air. Ben’s hand was outstretched.

“Stop. Everyone stop. Ben drop the blast. Fin lower your blaster,” Rey begged.

Ben let go of the blast and let it hit a nearby tree away from the crowd. Hesitantly Finn lowered his blaster, his eyes glued to Ben’s.

“He’s okay he’s not going to hurt anyone. He saved my life,” Rey quickly explained.

The group huddled around Ben slowly lowered weapons and looked to Rey.

“I am no longer Kylo Ren. I am who I should have been all along but was too weak to be. Ben Solo,” Ben reassured everyone.

“I’m not buying it. You literally tortured me and burrowed through my mind to find where BB-8 was. How do you justify that buddy,” Poe added.

“I know have made mistakes but i’m trying to be a better person. I want to help. I want to be apart of something good again,” Kylo reasoned.

Rey smiled at Ben, her heart filled with warmth at his words.

“Everyday from the day I was born, thoughts of evil and darkness filled by mind by both Snoke and Palpatine. They both manipulated me to do their dirty work. I gave into it because I wasn’t strong enough to say no. Now they are gone, I feel relieved and like I don’t have to hide in the darkness anymore,” Ben added, smiling at Rey.

Rey walked up to Ben and stood beside him, holding his hand.

“He is one of us now. If you don’t like it then leave,” Rey declared.

Poe reluctantly walked to the side of Rey and held her hand too. He looked over to Finn who stared at him with surprised eyes.

“You’re got to be kidding me right now. He’s a mass murderer guys. He’s never gonna-“ Finn starts.

“Enough Finn. If you can’t come to accept him, then maybe you’re not the person I thought you were,” Rey hissed as she walked away towards the buildings that housed the bunks with Ben. 

Finn stared at their backs and they walked away together smiling at each other. 

“How is this even possible,” Finn said under his breath, “I have to stop this from getting any worse.”


	2. Caught in the Act

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben get some alone time together only to have it ruined. Her friends easily find out who her new relationship is with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This is the second chapter of my new fan fic. They are kind of short but once I get my footing I’ll start making them longer. Make sure to leave any suggestions for improvement in the comments!
> 
> xoxo

As Rey and Ben made their way to the living areas in the side of the mountain, they couldn’t keep their eyes off each other. 

“So...ah...do you want your own quarters or...maybe we could share mine, I have a couch,” Rey asks.

“Take me to your quarters and I’ll see,” Ben smirked.

Rey felt her heart flip at his words. She looked down smiling and took him to her quarters.

She opened the door and he peered inside. There was a medium sized bed in the middle of the room with a small antique bedside table next to it. The room was simplistic as she only used it to sleep. There were 2 doors which Ben assumed was her closet and the bathroom. To the left there was a small couch with tan cushions and circular brown throw pillows. In front of it was a small wooden coffee table that matched the bed side table. On the coffee table there was vase with some wilted flowers and a couple of books. 

“It’s not much but I basically just use it for sleeping,” Rey muttered.

“It’s nice,” Kylo said. He looked away from the room to find Rey staring at him. “What.”

“Nothing. I’m just happy you’re here,” Rey hinted, walking closer to him.

She looked up into his deep eyes. The sun was hitting them directly so they had a golden honey hue that sparkled. Being a foot apart, Rey felt her heart flutter. She felt nervous being this close to him. Even though they kissed an hour ago, the idea of doing it again freaked her out.

“Maybe we should go see-“ Rey started but couldn't finish as Ben pulled her close to him.

Their chests touched and Rey looked up at him. His hand were around her waist and hers rested on his chest. He gripped her as if she would fall away if he let go. Rey looked up into his eyes seeing his were focused on her lips. She looked down and leaned in, moving his lips towards hers. It took her brain a second to catch up with what was happening. Both of his hands glided up from her waist, up her arms, and to her face, keeping her steady as he caressed her lips. She felt his tongue trace her bottom lip and she opened her mouth with pleasure. Ben bit her lower lip, earning a small moan from Rey. Their tongues collided and fought against each other. Her hands raised from his chest to his beautiful dark locks.

He began walking her back towards the bed. Her knees hit the end and she sat down on the edge of the bed. She laid down, Ben followed her and laid atop her propped up on his elbows. He pulled away from her face earning a grunt of frustration from Rey.

“What are you doing,” Rey quickly said leaning up to try to connect with him again.

“Just looking at how beautiful you are,” Kylo replied. Rey smiled at that and they collided again. This was everything she ever wanted.

Neither of them heard the door of her quarters open due to their own grunts.

“Hey Rey, I’m really sorry about earli-“ Finn started.

Quickly Ben jumped off of Rey and helped her off the bed as well. She fixed her now messy hair and straightened her tunic. Finn stared at them dumbfounded.

“Finn,” Rey stated as she stared at him back with horror in her eyes. He caught them making out. How could this get any worse?

Finn turned around and ran out of the door. Rey turned to Ben, gave his hand a squeeze and followed Finn.

She followed him down the hall yelling his name. He wouldn’t slow down or acknowledge her calling his name. She caught up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder.

He quickly shook her off saying, “Don’t touch me Rey. You were making out with him. He’s our enemy. How do you not see that?”

“He’s not our enemy anymore. He saved my life.”

“Why were you kissing him. Have you been with him this whole time?” 

“Of course not. We’ve always had a connection through the force. It just feels right Finn.”

“I can’t believe you right now. He almost killed you. Multiple times Rey.”

“He’s not like that anymore. You have to believe me. I can feel the light in him Finn. He’s changed and he truly cares for me.”

“You don’t think I truly care for you.”

Rey stared at him, “what do you mean. Of course I do.”

“No Rey, I...I’ve always cared for you. You are amazing in every way. I’ve always been scared to tell you, I love you Rey. I’ve always loved you.”

“Finn, I..” Rey took a deep breath, “I love you too, but as a friend. I’m sorry,” he grabbed his hand,” you have always been the greatest friend I could ever ask for. That’s why I need you to be okay with Ben. He’s here for good.”

Finn looked at her and considered her words. He was heartbroken at her rejection, but he had a feeling it would end this way. Even if she wasn’t with Ben. 

“Okay. I’ll try to accept him in. But I’m keeping my eye on him,” Finn says lightheartedly. Rey chuckled at his remark.

Finn didn’t fully believe that Ben was good all of a sudden but he decided to try because of Rey. He loved her after all. She let go of his hand.

“Wanna go grab some grub with Poe before the ceremony,” Finn asks.

“I would love to.”

They made their way to the small room where the food was kept. They found Poe already there snacking on some tree nuts.

“Hey guys!” Poe yelled from across the room. Everyone else in the room turned around to look at the source of the noise.

“Can’t a guy yell to their friends,” Poe remarked across the room.

They walked up to him laughing. 

“What’s up guys? Where were you?” Poe asks.

Finn and Rey looked to each other.

“Ah...I was just resting in my quarters. I’m really tired from the fight on Exegol,” Rey replied.

“Same,” Finn too quickly added. Rey side eyed Finn and gave him a gab in his ribs.

“Weird. So where is our Supreme Leader?” Poe taunted.

“He..ah..he’s getting a tour of the base from Rose,” Finn answers.

“I just saw Rose. She was outside talking to Lando. What is going on here,” Poe smirked, “were you two...” he trailed off pointing to them.

“What? No, no, no we weren’t doing anything,” Rey quickly answered Poe.

“Yeah yeah I know bed hair when I see it Rey.”

“It’s not what you think Poe. It wasn’t me she was with...” Finn adds.

Poe turned to you with surprise written on his face. A light bulb went off in his head.

“Kylo?” Poe asked, half smirking and still half surprised.

Rey hesitantly answered, “Yes, but before you say anything-“ 

“Wait, wait, wait...you and the supreme leader are together?” Poe questioned.

“Well I don’t really know. We just kissed twice,” Rey stated lowly. 

“This is great news!” Finn and Rey both looked at him surprised to see him so excited for her. He is a mass murderer after all.

“What?”

“Maybe now you won’t be so cranky,” Poe joked. Rey scoffed and gave him a light punch on his arm.

“I am definitely not cranky,” Rey defended.

“Kinda are,” Finn added.

She turned to him offended. They all erupted into laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!! Please leave any comments or suggestions down below. 
> 
> xoxo  
> rylee


	3. Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Resistance base has a ceremony to say goodbye to their beloved General Organa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guy! This is my 3rd chapter of my fan fic. Let me know any suggestions or ideas in the comments! Thanks for reading!!
> 
> xoxo  
> rylee

Rey let go of Ben’s hand and walked out of her quarters to follow Finn. 

He wasn’t really sure what to do. Ben was worried that if he were to leave her room, people would probably be scared of him or even try to hurt him. He wasn’t stupid, he knew not everyone would be okay with him staying at the resistance base.

He decided to do a little exploring and look around the base. He exited the room and looked side to side. There was no one to be seen so he decided to turn left. He followed the corridor until he found a dead end with a door at the end.

He began feeling overwhelmed with sadness and he felt who was on the other side of that door. He looked behind him to make sure no one was watching. He hesitantly raised his arm and forced the door open slowly.

Inside was a beautiful wooden casket made of the finest woods on the moon. There were vines and flowers engraved into the wood along with real vines wrapped around the perimeter. The top half was propped open.

Ben stood there, not feeling or doing anything. He felt numb. 

He walked towards it and stood at the top half of the box. He peered down and was instantly crushed. 

“I’m sorry mother,” Ben cried, “I was never a good son. I never appreciated you or dad and now everything is ruined.”

He felt tears leave his eyes. He was never one to cry when someone died, but this was different. This was his mother.

“You gave your life to help me see the light when I should have seen it for myself. I’m so weak. It’s my fault you..you’re dead.”

He felt a hand pressed lightly on his shoulder. He turned around to see his mother, but it was only her force ghost. The dam in his chest broke and he sobbed.

“Mother. I’m...I’m so sorry.” she wrapped him up into a tight embrace.

“It’s okay my son. I will always be with you in spirit. I know you have changed. Ben, you are one of the strongest people I’ve come to know. You are a better man and everyone knows it.”

“I-I love you mom.”

“I know.”

And just like that she was gone. He wiped his tears and turned around back to the casket. He closed the top half and turned around and left the room.

•••

Rey, Finn and Poe were in the food storage when Kaydel came in to tell them it was time for the funeral.

They turned around and followed her out the door.

“I can’t believe she’s actually gone,” Poe said.

The other two nodded and kept walking. Rey didn’t feel like talking. Leia was like a mother to her when she had nothing. She loved her.

They walked outside to the right of all the ships that had landed to a clear open space clear of trees. Everyone was gathered around the casket to say their goodbyes. 

Rey looked around the crowd trying to find Ben. She wanted him here so he could say goodbye too. He was nowhere to be found.

“Hey Rose, have you seen Ben,” Rey asked.

“Not since earlier when he got here, sorry.”

“So...who would like to say something first?” Commander D’Arcy asked the crowd. Some people gave speeches while others cried. The whole event was somber. It got quiet so Rey decided it was her turn to say a little something.

“Ah..well...Leia has always been a mother figure in my life. She taught me to trust in myself and in others. Ah, she’s actually here right now with Luke,” she sees their force ghosts hand in hand on the other side of the casket. Looking at them she continues, “She was true and real and she told it how it was no matter the consequences. I-I can’t imagine my life without her,” Rey began to break down and Leia walked over to her and grabbed her hand, “She was always a shoulder to cry on and motivation to get up and try again. I loved her. Rest easy Leia.”

The speeches continued until no one had anything else to say about the beloved general. Her casket was slowly lowered into the ground and they all took turns shoveling dirt in. Rey shakily grabbed the shovel and dropped her pile of dirt on the casket. She turned around and sobbed into Finn’s shoulder. 

The memorial ended and everyone went their separate ways. Rey decided she wanted to be alone so she went to her favorite place to think. The beautiful crystal lake on the far end of the base.

She walked there with her head hung low. Now 3 people she had looked up to for guidance were dead. 

She walked through the jungle and looked up to the stars. The sun was starting to set so the sky was turning purple and the stars were coming out. 

Her entire life on Jakku she looked up to the stars while she ate her portions from scavenging all day long. She always wondered if one day she would be able to fly around in space and go to different planets. But, she would never leave her planet because of her parents. Now that she knew who she really was, she wasn’t held back by anything. She could go wherever she wanted. As she passed by a bush with glowing pink flowers she picked one and placed it behind her ear. She skipped her way to the lake. Maybe she’ll even go skinny dipping. She always loved the way the water made her feel. There were no lakes on Jakku.

“Rey...what are you doing here?” Ben said, bringing Rey out of her daydreaming.

Startled, she answered, “This is where I go to think. Looks like we had the same idea.” Rey walked over and sat next to him on the fallen over log. “Why didn’t you come to the ceremony, Ben?”

“I couldn’t do it. Besides, I already said my goodbyes,” he replied.

“It was a beautiful service. Everyone had something nice to say about her.” Ben nodded looking over to Rey.

“Can we talk about something else?” Ben asked

“Yeah of course. Can I ask you a question?” Ben nodded. “W-What made you come back to the light side?” she hesitantly asked, not wanting to upset him. 

He just stared at her and took a deep breath. His face softened. “You.”

“What? How did I...” she trailed off.

“That day in the throne room, Snoke was hurting you. I knew what I had to do. I knew I had to kill him. He had been tormenting me and abusing me for too long and I couldn’t let him do the same to you.” he looked at Rey and grabbed her hand pulling her closer to him, “I wanted you to join me but for the wrong reasons. After you left me on Kef Bir, I had a-a talk with my dad. He helped me see that I did have the strength to help you defeat Palpatine. I knew I needed to help you, to save you, but in the end you defeated him with your own strength,”

“Ben, you don’t know it, but you helped me greatly on Exegol. I almost killed him, I could be on the dark side right now, with all the sith within me. But then I felt your force signature, I knew I was safe...because you were there with me.” Rey wrapped her arms around Ben’s neck and gave him a hug. Ben grabbed her waist and hugged her back.

They both pulled back, “What was that for?” Ben asked.

“Just felt right.” Rey turned her head to the lake before them, “Want to go swimming?” Ben was surprised by her question.

“We don’t have swim suits.”

“Who cares, just wear your undergarments.” 

They both stripped down to their undergarments. Rey in a thin cream tank top she used for a bra and her boring white underwear that modestly covered her butt. Ben was just in his black shorts, topless. Rey took a second to admire how well built he looked, especially under the starlight. 

“My eyes are up here Rey,” he caught her. They started laughing and she walked over to him.

“You just look good, Ben.” 

He looked down to her, the height difference very visible. He placed his hands on her waist and lifted her up. Rey glazed into his eyes and leaned in to kiss him. But Ben had other plans.

One second she was in his arms and the next she was flying into the lake. She landed with a splash. 

She jumped out of the water. “BEN!” she screamed as he stood there laughing with his head thrown back. Then, she had an idea. She used the force to bring a ball of water out of the lake, as soon as Ben brought his head up, she launched the water ball right at his face. He was soaked. She erupted into laughter at the sight of a soaking wet Ben.

“That’s it,” Ben yelled as he stomped into the water towards Rey. She yelped and tried to get away but he was too fast. He splashed her with large amounts of water, then grabbed her by the waist and pulled her over his shoulder.

She banged her fists on his back. “What are you doing, Ben!” Rey squeaked as he brought them further into the deep end. 

He grabbed her again and threw her into the water. She got back up and went to hit him but Ben caught her hand. He pulled her close to him and bent down to her level, kissing her. Her hands reached up into his now wet hair while his were on her waist making sure she didn’t go anywhere.

They made out for a couple minutes and Rey pulled away, “Maybe we should head back. It’s getting late.”

“If you say so,” Ben replied, pulling her into one last kiss. It was passionate and romantic. 

They grabbed their clothes and made their way back to the base, soaking wet and laughing.


	4. An Old Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s Chapter 4! Again, if you have any suggestions or ideas, put them in the comments.
> 
> xoxo  
> rylee

It’s been a few days with Ben at the base. Him and Rey have slowly fallen into a routine. 

There wasn’t much to do around the base, the war was over. So their days were mostly spent in her quarters or just walking around the base. Ben usually just stayed in her quarters not wanting to cause any trouble. Occasionally Rey helped clean or organize supplies. She was getting very good at helping with the engines of the gunships. Apparently, no one really knew how their engines worked. Luckily, Rey used to rummage through their parts and knew exactly how they worked.

They shared her bed, Rey laid on the left and Ben was on the right. She always woke up before Ben. She was always an early bird even on Jakku

Every morning she woke up and went to the small cafeteria, if you could even call it that, to grab 2 cafs and 2 bagels or muffins. Ben had to have his caf and took it black, of course. Rey added some milk and sugar to hers otherwise it was too bitter. Ben was used to his special Glendora caf, which had special beans sourced from an elusive planet in the outer rim. The first order had the most expensive and luxurious products for their dear supreme leader, even the coffee. The caf from the resistance cafeteria was overly bitter and was nowhere near as flavorful, but Ben always appreciated his Rey bringing him caf and breakfast.

One morning, Rey got up at her usual time and grabbed their caf and breakfast, today it was bagels with cream cheese. She brought it back to their quarters and set it at her coffee table across from the couch. She walked over to Ben’s side of the bed and noticed he was writhing around and mumbling under his breath. She quickly went to his side and placed her hand on his shoulder.

His eyes shot open. He jumped up off of the bed, lunged towards Rey, wrapping both his hands around her neck. “Ben,” she whimpered, “It’s me. You-You were having a-a bad dream.” 

He quickly realized it was Rey and let her go. She dropped to the ground clutching her throat. “Rey, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what I was doing. It wasn’t-“ 

“It’s okay Ben. Seriously. What were you dreaming about?” Rey carefully asked.

“I-I think someone is going to try and kill me…”

“What? How do you know?”

“I saw a figure in my dream, it was blurry but I could make out a person. They were holding a simple blaster but when I tried to block it with my lightsaber, the blast flew right around it and hit me in the shoulder. Then they shot it again and I tried to stop it with the force and again it kept going and blasted me in the stomach”

Rey sat next to him on the edge of the bed. She grabbed his hand and reassured him, “Well maybe it was just a bad dream. Why do you think it was real?”

“It felt too real to be a dream. It was like I was actually there and I felt the blast hit me.” Rey could tell Ben was starting to get worried. If there was some weapon out there that could dodge their weapons and the force, they were potentially in danger.

“It’s okay Ben. I’ll stay with you all day. We don’t even know if it could happen today. We can-“

“No you have to stay away from. I can't let you get hurt because you’re trying to protect me.” Ben interrupted.

“That’s what we do Ben. We protect each other. I’m staying with you all week no matter what you say.” Rey commanded. Ben nodded and smiled.

He leaned closer to her and brought their lips together. Her hand rested on his cheek as they kissed completely in sync with one another. The kiss slowly became increasingly rough and full of lust. He slowly laid down on the bed and pulled Rey on top of him. She straddled his hips, her hands lightly pulled on his hair. He moved his hand up and down her body, feeling all of her curves. His hands moved down to her waist and slightly lifted her shirt. She smiled in his lips and nodded. He slowly lifted her shirt off, leaving her in her poor excuse of a bra. Rey pulled away from his face and tugged at his shirt, he quickly ripped it off over his head exposing his pale, toned abs. She sat on his lap and stared at his open stomach. He sat up and held her in his muscled arms. The room was completely silent except for their labored breathing. Their lips reconnected in a lust filled kiss and Rey knew exactly what was about to happen. His hands reached up behind her back to unconnect her bra.

“Hey Rey, could you help-”

Rey quickly hopped off his lap, grabbed her shirt, covering her chest from Finn’s view. Ben grabbed his shirt as well and slipped it on.

“Damn, I really gotta start knocking.” Finn mumbled to himself.

“Finn...ah what do you n-need help with?” Rey awkwardly asked.

“Um...well, we ah need your help down by the landing.” Finn replied. A part of his heart was broken at the sight of seeing them together. It made him sick. He was lying when he said he’d try to get used to him. He was a murderer, he killed thousands of people, probably millions. How could someone as great as Rey be with someone like him. How could she not see that he isn’t right for her. Finn knew eventually Kylo would hurt her. He was incapable of love and love was something Finn knew.

“O-Okay, I'll be down in a second.” she assured him. Finn took one last look at Rey and exited the room. He had to do something whether she liked it or not.

Rey turned to Ben, “You’re coming with me.”

“What? No. I don’t want you to get hurt. I’ll be okay.”

“No you’re coming with me,” Ben shook his head, “Please...Just come with me. I-I can't lose anyone else.” Ben looked at her eyes. They were full of sadness and affection. He nodded. He knew she wouldn’t go if he didn’t come.

They redressed in a comfortable silence. “You ready?” Rey asked. Ben nodded and took her hand. He was anxious, but he wouldn’t let Rey know that. What if something happened to her. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if something happened to her because of him again. He’s already caused her so much pain. 

They walked out of their quarters and made their way to the landing. It was a poor excuse for a landing. It was more of a clearing with no trees where all the ships were stationed. All around them people were working on their ships or helping to move supplies around. Rey glanced around trying to find Finn. 

Ben stayed next to her taking in the sight of everyone working on their own ships. He never had to do work on his command shuttle. He had his own engineers that took care of his ship when he had his tantrums or something was genuinely wrong with it, which was rare. He was always a good pilot, he learned when he was young. Han always brought him along on trips on the Falcon. That’s where he learned how to fly. Guilt overtook his body at the memory of his father. He may not have been the best father but he was still his father and he killed him in cold blood. 

He looked around and met the eyes of his childhood friend.

Chewbacca.

Ben smiled, he was relieved to finally see a friend. Before Ben was shipped off to learn how to become a Jedi with Luke, he often was with his friend Chewie. They were inseparable. Ben even called him Uncle Chewie. While he would come along on rides on the Falcon they used to play Dejarik, of course Chewie always won. Ben loved flying with him. 

That’s when he realized he wouldn’t be met with a friend. Ben killed Han, Chewie's best friend. How could anyone ever forgive someone for that. His smile quickly fell and he saw Chewie's face also drop.

All of sudden, Ben heard the all too familiar yells of his friend, and saw him hurtling at him. Ben took a few steps back, not wanting to provoke him anymore.

“Chewie..Just let me explain-”

He quickly tackled him to the ground, choking him. Ben didn’t want to use the force on him, he was trying to make amends, not make it worse.

“Chewie! Get off of him.” Rey yelled from behind him. “Please don’t make me do this.” Chewie refused to get off. She glanced at Ben seeing him gasping for air. Rey hesitantly raised her hands and flung him off of Ben. 

Chewie growled from the floor. “I know he killed him, but that doesn’t make it okay for you to choke him to death. Let him explain.” Rey yelled back.

Chewie stood up and glared at Ben.

“Can we please just talk for a minute?” Ben desperately asked. He wished he could take it back. He would have his friend and his dad back. Ben knew Chewbacca wouldn’t forgive him, but he wanted to at least say he was sorry. Chewie continued to just stare at him.

“Just talk to him Chewie. Come on, please.” Rey begged. He glanced at Rey and back to Ben. He hesitantly nodded letting out a soft whimper.

Ben and Chewie walked back towards the base in silence. Ben glanced at him but he kept his eyes trained forward. They made it inside and sat at a nearby table, across from each other. Ben looked up to Chewie. His head was hung low.

“Listen, I’m going to be completely forward with you because that’s how we both work,” he took a deep breath and continued, “I-I’ve regretted killing Han everyday since his death. I thought I had to do it in order to fully embrace myself and be like my grandfather. That was never true. They were lies put into my head by Snoke and Palpatine.” He broke his eye contact and looked down at his hands, “I-I almost took his hand, but I was too weak and killed him. Chewie I’m sorry but I-I can’t bring him back or take it back. I just want you to know how sorry I am.” 

Chewie growled back, “I don’t forgive you. But, I’ll stop trying to kill you.” Ben gave a slight smile and took that as a win. They both stood up and Ben extended his hand, thinking a hug might be a little bit too much. Chewie grabbed his hand tightly and gave it a firm shake.

At least, he won’t try to kill Ben anymore.

Ben made his way back to the landing to find Rey. He could tell by her force signature she was worried about him. Who knows, Chewie could have been the killer from his dreams.

He scanned the crowd and quickly found her. She was leaning up against a tree waiting for him.

“I wanna get out of here. Are you done helping here? What were you even helping with?” Ben asked.

“Yes. They wanted me to look at an engine of a gunship. Apparently I’m the only one who knows how those work. Enough about me, what happened with you and Chewie. Did he forgive you?” she enthusiastically asked. Ben shook his head, Rey’s smile dropped.

“He said he wouldn’t try and kill me though.” 

“Well that’s better than nothing.” she replied. They continued walking back to their quarters in silence. It was almost lunch time already and Rey never ate her breakfast due to their early morning make out session.

“Wanna grab some food first. I’m starving.” Rey asked. Ben nodded and they peacefully made their way to the cafeteria to finally eat some food.


	5. Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben’s dream comes to life. What will happen when Rey tries to intervene?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY STAR WARS DAY!! Here’s an update!
> 
> may the 4th be with you  
> xoxo  
> rylee

They met on the far end of the base, hidden by the shadows of the trees. The two men whispered to each other about their shared hatred for the same man. 

Kylo Ren.

“He murdered my entire family on Raysho when they obliterated the Hosian system with their damned planet killers. He doesn’t deserve to walk free here. This is our land! I won’t let-”

“Woah, woah, there buddy. I get it, we all have our reasons to hate him, but we need to be smart about this,” the other man spoke calmly. “Rey has been with him 24/7, we need to get them separated if this is going to work.”

The other man observed him before speaking, “As long as he’s dead I’m up for anything.”

“You have to be the one to kill him.”

“Good. I can’t wait to have my hands about his neck.”

“Have you forgotten. Kylo has the force, you’ll be dead within seconds if you choose to do that. I bought a weapon. It’s rumored to be more powerful than any Jedi or Jedi killer, in Ren’s case.”

The man explained to the other about how this weapon can shoot blasts that cannot be blocked by a lightsaber or the force and it poisoned it’s victim if the blast didn’t kill them already. Kylo Ren wouldn’t stand a chance. The blast always found its target.

“You have to wait until he’s alone to go after him. As soon as you see him alone, go for it. He won’t be expecting it. Rey can’t help that demon now.”

The man pulled the blaster from his holster and handed it to the other guy. Confused he asks, “It looks like a basic blaster. This won’t do anything to him!”

“That’s the point, he won’t expect it to be anything else but a normal blast he could block. This blaster is special, remember.”

The man tucked the blaster in his own holster. “Okay. I understand the plan. You’ll know when I get it done.”

And with that figured out, the two men dispersed and went back to their normal lives.

•••

“Wanna grab some food first. I’m starving.” Rey asked. Ben nodded and they peacefully made their way to the cafeteria to finally eat some food.

When they entered they were welcomed with stares from the entire room. Ben had barely been out of their quarters during the past few days. Everyone was haunted by the things he did in the past. Many people wanted him out of the camp, but never did anything because of it in fear of Kylo Ren hurting them.

Rey grabbed Ben’s hand and glanced at him briefly before taking him to the line for food. She grabbed a small sandwich with some sort of meat on it and some meiloorun fruit. Following behind her, Ben grabbed two of the same sandwich and instead of the fruit opted for a muffin. After they grabbed their food and waters, they made their way to an open table, sitting across from each other. The people on Ben’s side of the table quickly shifted away from him, some even getting up and leaving.

“How am I supposed to get used to the base when people won’t even sit six feet away from me, Rey?” Ben asked frustrated. 

Rey took a bite of her sandwich. After chewing she returned, “It’s going to take time, Ben. They think you’re a murderer. They just have to see they have nothing to worry about and-”

“But I am.” Ben interrupts.

“What?” Rey set down her sandwich.

“I am a murderer.” he sounded defeated.

Rey didn’t know how to respond. She wasn’t stupid, she knew he was a murderer, a mass murderer, but Rey wanted to help, not make things worse. She knew how bad he felt for all the things he did even though he was manipulated his whole life.

“Ben...You’re not that man anymore. You know it. I know it. It took me a while to believe that you changed too. You just have to give them some time.” She took his hand and smiled. He nodded and gave her hand a squeeze.

They continued to eat in silence. The quiet wasn’t uncomfortable. Rey knew he needed a moment to think and process what she had said. She glanced around and realized that the cafeteria was almost empty. They were late to lunch anyways, most people ate already.

“I’ll be right back.” Rey gave him a confused look. “Bathroom.” Ben stood up and walked towards the hallway.

He walked into the bathroom and did his business. He walked over to the sink to wash his hands, when the door opened. It was a man dressed in all black with a cap on his head. He kept his head down and Ben couldn’t get a good look at his face. Ben glanced at him then continued to wash his hands. Something was off about the man, he was just standing in the middle of the bathroom. Slowly, Ben realized who the man was. He also realized he didn’t have any weapons with him anymore. His lightsaber was at the bottom of the ocean. 

Luckily there was no one else in the bathroom to see what Ben was about to do. He didn’t want anyone else to think of him as a murderer, but this was self defense.

Ben raised his hands as a warning. The man quickly pulled a blaster from his holster and pointed it at Ben. Before the man could shoot, Ben force slammed him into the wall next to the sinks. The man quickly dropped to the ground and scrambled around to find his blaster. Ben kicked him in the stomach, hard, to stop him from grabbing the blaster. He knew he didn’t want to kill the man otherwise how would he know why he wanted to kill Ben in the first place. 

The man grabbed Ben’s foot and punched the back of his knee and it buckled, bringing him to the ground. The man scrambled to his feet and reached for the blaster. Ben slammed him to the wall again and force choked him. The man clawed at the invisible hands at his throat.

Between gasps the man said, “This w-was supposed...to be e-easy.”

“What made you think that?” Ben noticed he was turning purple and let him drop to the ground, again.

•••

As Rey wanted for Ben to come back from the bathroom, she wondered about how she could convince the base that he had changed. She knew he changed, she felt it. 

When Snoke had connected them and they could see and feel each other when they weren’t together, Rey always felt his pull to the light. He was so immersed in the dark from the manipulation from Snoke and Palpatine that he just needed some help. 

Now she felt that he was immersed in the light.

There would always be some darkness in him from his past but Rey chose to accept that about him. There’s darkness in everyone, even Rey.

The base just needs time to get used to Ben being there, Rey thought. It’s only been a few weeks and he hasn’t really been out and about making friends. That probably made things even worse. Rey thought to herself that she would bring Ben with her the next time she needed to help around the base. Hopefully they would see that he’s just trying to fit in and help.

“What is taking that man so long,” Rey quietly mumbled to herself. She decided to get up and go check on him. After all, someone might be trying to kill him sometime soon. That dream had scared her a little. If she lost Ben, she didn’t know what she would do. He was one of the last people she truly cared for that was alive. Besides Poe, Finn and Chewie. 

She jogged to the bathroom to make sure he was okay. She went to knock on the door when she heard grunts and gasps. 

“What made you think that?” Ben asked from behind the door. 

Rey quickly opened the door and went inside. She didn’t care if she was in the men’s bathroom, Ben could be hurt.

Ben looked away from the man and looked at Rey. He was surprised that she was here. He hadn't even noticed her force signature. He was too focused on getting answers from the man in front of him. As Ben looked away, he quickly grabbed the blaster and aimed it at him. Rey ran from the doorway in front of Ben. 

Pew.

The man shot the blaster. She tried to freeze the blast in the air with the force but the blast zoomed right past her hand. Rey was hit in her abdomen. The man quickly dropped the blaster and ran out of the bathroom. Rey fell to the floor clutching her stomach

“No. No. No. I have to find him. He can’t get away with hurting you.” Ben yelled.

“Ben..” Rey quickly murmured before she blacked out from the blood loss.

Ben had to make a decision. He could go and find the bastard that hit Rey or stay with her and bring her to the medbay. He quickly made the right decision of staying with Rey. Her safety was more important than catching the guy.

Ben picked her up, one arm under her knees and the other supporting her upper back. He shifted her around so her head was resting against his chest. He walked out of the bathroom. He got a funny look from the 2 people that were talking in the hallway. When they realized it was Ben, they quickly dropped that face and put on a much more frightened one.

“Someone tried to kill me, and they shot Rey.” That changed their expression to worry. Everyone at the base loved Rey. She was likable and plus, she just saved everyone from Palpatine. “Where is the medbay? She is losing too much blood.” Ben forcefully asked.

The two people swiftly raised their hands and pointed to the left. Ben adjusted his grip on Rey and began jogging to the medbay. He made sure she wasn’t bouncing too much from the running. Ben kept jogging until he found a white room with medical beds surrounding the outskirts of the room. There were a couple pilots from the war that were still in critical condition. Most of the resistance who were hurt during the fight, died, but some managed to make their way back. There were a few nurses that were checking on the patients. When they noticed Ben carrying Rey they were instantly startled. They dropped what they were doing and ran over to Rey. Their patients would be okay.

Ben recycled his last speech to the people in the hallway, “Someone tried to kill me and they shot Rey. She has lost a lot of blood and blacked out.” Ben tried not to show his emotions for Rey but his voice broke when he said her name. He was worried, this was the millionth time she was hurt because of him. He made a quiet promise to himself to never put her in harm's way again. He needed her alive.

Ben gently placed her on one of the beds towards the back of the room. The nurses got to work with cutting her shirt off to get a better look at the wound. Ben turned around to give her some privacy. He knew he had already seen her in less but it still felt weird since she was passed out and didn’t know what was happening. 

The nurses began cleaning the wound. The main thing they were worried about was infection. One of them washed the blood off as the other covered the wound with antibiotic cream. 

As Ben began walking around the medbay to wait for the nurses to finish bandaging her, Poe and Finn came running from the end of the hall. Ben sighed as he knew they both didn’t feel comfortable with him yet.

“What happened?” Poe yelled from down the hall. 

Ben waited until they stepped into the medbay to talk, he wasn’t one for yelling in a hospital, “Someone tried to kill me and they shot Rey. The blast completely ignored the force, it went around it and hit her directly. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

They made their way to Rey and tried to get a better look. 

“Why would they shoot Rey?” Finn angrily asked.

“They were trying to blast me, but of course Rey stepped in front of me.”

“What!? Why is it doing that?” one of the nurses asked.

Rey's wound was oozing a dark red, almost black, blood and there were black veins spreading out from the spot.

“It looks-” the nurse started.

“Poisoned. I don’t remember that part in my dream.” Ben said quietly to himself.

“Dream?” Finn asked.

“Last night, I had a dream that someone was going to try and kill me sometime soon. I knew they had a weapon that could dodge the force, but I didn’t know it was poisoned.” Ben replied. “How could I be so stupid. This is all my fault.”

“It’s not your fault Ben, it’s whoever the jackass that shot her is.” Poe placed his hand on Ben’s shoulder. 

“The poison needs to get out of her system or else...she will die.” the nurse said.

“I know what I have to do. I need to force the poison out of her system.” Ben said, mostly to himself.

Ben walked to the side of her bed and sat on the edge, making sure she still had room. He gently placed his hand on her abdomen where the poison was sourced from.

“Here goes nothing.”

He felt the poison throughout her body. It hadn’t traveled too far, luckily it wasn’t in her heart. He had to go through her bloodstream and evaporate each of the molecules of poison. It took a lot of time and energy but Ben was motivated. He needed to do this. 

It took over 30 minutes to get through all of her veins and arteries. Every time he thought he was done, he found a few more molecules. He had to get every last one otherwise they could still travel to her heart and multiply. When he was done, he extracted his force from her and was brought back to reality. 

He instantly felt exhausted, but he couldn’t sleep yet, he needed to make sure she was okay. 

Rey slowly opened her eyes to see her Ben. She smiled and leaned up as if she wanted a hug. He took it as a sign and leaned down and hugged her back.

“You saved me. Again.” she whispered.

“Of course I did.”


	6. Unwanted Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A thought from Rey, deeply angers Ben. What will happen when he reverts back to his tantrums.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’m thinking about starting another Fan Fic! It would be in second person and probably a kidnapping story. I was wondering if you guys would want to read it or if I should just continue with this one. I will still update this story. Leave it in the comments!
> 
> xoxo  
> rylee

It was the day after the mysterious man had shot Rey. She was released from the medbay early that morning. After Ben had got rid of the poison, she was perfectly fine, but the nurses kept her overnight to make sure she was okay.

Ben had stayed with her all night. He slept in the bed next to her, wanting to make sure she had enough room in her bed to sleep. The beds were pretty much cots so there wasn’t much room for 2 people. When he woke up she was still sleeping and the nurse told Ben it was okay for her to go back to her own quarters so she’s more comfortable.

Instead of waking her. Ben removed her blanket slowly and gently lifted her up in his arms. Bridal style.

He carried her throughout the hallways back to their quarters. She didn’t weigh much, so it was incredibly easy for Ben to carry her. He opened the room with his elbow and walked over to the bed. Carefully, he placed her on her side of the bed and pulled the blanket up. Her eyes opened slightly and she smiled at Ben before falling back to sleep. 

Ben looked at the clock and saw it was only 3:00am. He decided to go back to sleep as well. He pulled his shirt off and got into bed next to Rey, pulling her close to him, her back resting on his naked chest. 

Her rhythmic breaths told him she was fast asleep. He was tired himself. Taking the poison out of her body, molecule by molecule took a lot out of him. 

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her even closer to him. He laced his fingers together with Rey’s and fell asleep to the sounds of her quiet breathing.

•••

Rey woke up first. She was completely smothered by Ben’s hold but she didn’t mind it. Smiling, she slowly moved his arms so she could escape. She decided to take a shower first, then go get them breakfast from the cafeteria. 

She walked across the cold metal floor to the bathroom. She switched on the light and turned the water on. It took quite a while for the showers to heat up, the hottest the water ever got was lukewarm, but she didn’t mind. It could always be worse.

She began taking her tunic off and her capri pants when she heard a knock at the door. 

“Come in.” she quietly said. She was standing in front of the small mirror that had a crack running from the top left corner to the top right. She only had her bra and capri pants on. Again, she didn’t mind, he’s seen her in less.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t know you were partially unclothed.”

She gave his shoulder a light tap, “You’ve seen me in else, Ben...and look!” She pointed to where she had been shot the day before.

Heat rose to Ben’s cheeks as he bent down, examining the wound. It was healing up pretty good, thanks to Ben. It probably wouldn’t scar either. He stood back up to his full height and gave her a nod. She was getting sick of his emotionless nods, she couldn’t tell what he was feeling unless she used the force. She didn’t like doing that though.

“Were you going to shower, cause I can go after you?” Ben quietly asked. Rey looked at him for a few seconds before answering.

“You ah...We can...just shower t-together. Saves water.”

“Yeah it saves water and plus it would take forever for it to get warm again.”

“Yes! Totally.”

They both awkwardly stood there staring at each other. Rey gulped and began removing the rest of her clothes. Ben left to go grab his shirt to put back on after their shower. When he came back into the bathroom, Rey was already in the shower. He quickly took off his sweatpants and underwear, taking a deep breath before opening the door to get inside.

Rey had her back to him, washing her face. He couldn’t help but stare. As soon as she felt his stare she turned around and their eyes met. It took all of his might to not let his eyes roam her beautiful body. He had to give in, she was too irresistible. He quickly glanced down and watched her every curve. He didn’t know what came over him, it was primal, almost animal-like.

He grabbed her waist and lightly slammed her into the wall behind her. He hungrily kissed her and she returned the kiss with all the same feelings.

She went to read his thoughts, wanting to know what he was thinking, and he let his walls down so it was easier for her. She was met with all the things he wanted to do to her at that moment and he didn’t want to say out loud. Some of them made her raise her eyebrows and her eyes widen. 

He had one hand in her hair and the other squeezed her bottom. By now his hair was soaked by the shower head, the water dripping between both their bodies. He was careful around her wound even though it was almost healed by now. 

Rey’s mind led her to a different place. It was the first day they were back when Finn told her he loved her. She completely blew him off. She felt bad for him, she only ever saw him as a friend but she saw the signs. He even asked if she had a boyfriend when they first met. She just chose to ignore them which turned out for the worse. He hated Ben as well. She could sense that he didn’t like him and would never like him. Although he wouldn’t say it to her face, she knew he didn’t think Ben would treat her right. “I have to talk to him as soon as possible. He is my best friend, he deserves better,” she thought to herself.

Just as she thought about that, Ben had decided to reach into her mind to see if she wanted to keep going and was still comfortable with what was happening. He was met with the utter opposite of what he wanted her to be thinking about. How could she be thinking about another guy when they were naked together. Especially Finn of all people. He would much rather her to be thinking about Poe, even Hux. He would prefer that white as a sheet, ginger, just not Finn. He hated Ben, and he knew that Finn would do everything in his power to show Rey that Ben was still a bad person. 

Ben quickly pulled away from Rey, his hands dropped to his sides. She gave him a confused look, why would he stop?

He turned around, slammed open the shower door and grabbed a towel from the cabinet. Rey followed him out asking, “What happened? What’s wrong?”

Ben completely ignored her. He felt his rage take over his body, like it had many times before. He needed to let it out. When he was Kylo Ren he would have his tantrums and tear a wall to shreds with his lightsaber. He didn’t have that luxury now, this wasn’t his ship.

He didn’t quite understand why he was so angry about Rey’s thoughts, but he couldn’t stop himself.

Rey quickly grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her body, still following Ben out into their bedroom. 

“Please talk to me, Ben. What’s wrong?”

“Maybe when you are thinking about another man while we are…” he made a motion towards the bathroom door, “you should put up your walls to block them out.”

“Why were you even reading them in the first place.” her voice was louder than she intended it to be. After all, she went through his thoughts as well. She couldn’t be too mad.

“I wanted to make sure you were still comfortable and...and wanted to keep going!” he yelled back, wanting it to be loud. Rey just stared at him. She couldn’t be mad at him, he was just making sure she wanted to go through with what was going to happen in that shower. 

She took a deep breath before stepping towards him. As she stepped forward he stepped back. He didn’t want to accidentally hurt her. 

“You know he hates me.” Ben murmured.

“That’s why I want to try and convince him that-”

“That’s bullshit, you know he’s never going to think of me as anything other than Kylo Ren.” He quickly stormed into the bathroom and closed it before Rey could get in. He put on his t-shirt and sweatpants while he thought about why he was so pissed off. He needed to break something, it was the only way he could get some of this anger out of his system.

When he came back out of the bathroom, Rey had one of Ben’s t-shirts on and her underwear, and was sitting on the edge of their bed. 

“I need something...t-to break or hit.” His head was hung low, ashamed he still needed to let his anger out like this.

“Ah, there’s, um, a s-supply closet next door. Do you want me to come with you?” she began to stand. 

He was out the door before she even asked him the question. He opened the closet to the right of their quarters and slammed the door shut. He didn’t want Rey, or anyone in the base, to see what he was going to do next. 

He grabbed the top of the shelf and knocked it over. He kicked the cardboard boxes and punched the wall. He kept repeating that process with the other shelves until he felt his anger slowly dissipate. He stood in the center of the room fuming, slowing his breathing and getting his heart rate back to normal. Outside, he heard a light knock.

He abruptly turned around opening the door, “Rey, leave me alo-” That wasn’t Rey. Of course. Of course it had to be the one person he didn’t want to see. Finn.

“I heard banging. What happened?” Finn reluctantly asked.

“None of your business.”

“I was on the way to see Rey but then-” he was cut off as Ben force choked him, his feet dangling in the air.

“Ben! Put him down!” 

Ben looked to his left to find Rey standing in the hallway outside their room. He let go of Finn, still staring at Rey. Finn collapsed to the floor, rubbing at his neck. She ran towards them. Ben thought she was running at him and opened his arms. He dropped them when he realized she was running to help Finn.

“Are you okay?” she directed at Finn. “Why did you do that, Ben?”

“I-I don’t know. I can't control it. I-”

“You can control it, Ben. You just choose not to whenever you please.”

He stared at her for another few seconds, then quickly walked away. He didn’t want to see them together for any longer, otherwise he might do something he regrets.

Why did seeing them together make him so angry? From the beginning he felt the love Finn had for Rey. It wasn’t okay. He’s the only one that could love her. Did he love her? He didn’t know love very well. 

“What was that all about?” Rey crouched down to the level where Finn was sitting. 

“I don’t even know. I heard banging so I knocked, then he just started choking me.” Finn replied.

“We kind of had an argument about y-you.”

“Why me?”

“I won't go into details, but I think he’s jealous of our friendship. I don’t really know. I can never really know what he’s thinking unless I read his mind.”

“Hmm. Maybe you should just let him cool down for a bit.” Finn suggested. 

“Yeah…I just wish he would talk to me.”


	7. Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Resistance is throwing a party to celebrate winning the war. Rey and Ben both show up even though they are in an argument.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s chapter 7! Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Don’t forget to comment and give me kudos if you enjoyed it!
> 
> xoxo  
> rylee

The Resistance decided to throw a small party to celebrate them winning the war and finally putting an end to the First Order. 

It was at 8:00 on a Friday. Rey had decided she wasn’t going to go but Finn and Poe convinced her otherwise. It was Poe’s idea for the party, anyways.

“I just don’t feel like going. I’ll just stay in and...and read or something.” she explained.

“That’s such bullshit, Rey. We know you don’t want to go because of Ben.” Poe argued. Rey looked away, not wanting them to know he’s right. 

“Yeah and we don’t even know if he’ll be there. He doesn’t really look like the type of person to go to a party.” Finn added as Poe nodded his head, agreeing.

Rey rolled her eyes at her best friends. “I don’t even have anything to wear!”

“You can borrow one of Rose’s dresses. She has a ton of them.” Finn gestured towards the door. “Come on you can go try some of them on.”

“Fine.” 

They made their way to Rose’s quarters, which was a few hallways away. Rey was getting nervous. Her and Ben haven't spoken since they had their argument. She didn’t even know where he was sleeping at night. He was mad at her for thinking about Finn and she was mad at him for almost choking Finn to death. It was an impossible situation for two very stubborn people. Hopefully he wouldn’t go and Rey could just have fun with Finn, Poe and Rose.

They made it to her quarters and Finn tried to knock but was denied due to Poe marching right in.

“Hey guys. What are you guys up to? OMG are you excited for the party tonight? I am so excited! It’s going to be so much fun. I can’t even decide what I’m going to wear because-”

Finn had had enough of her rambling, “We need one of your dresses for Rey. She decided to go, finally.”

“Hey I never agreed.”

“You’re going.” Poe firmly stated. Rey smiled to herself.

“I mean I don’t even know what I’m wearing yet, but I suppose I can give you some of the ones I don’t really like.”

“Nice, Rose.” Finn sarcastically replied to her comment.

“I’ll take whatever you can spare.” Rey said.

“FASHION SHOW!” 

Rose stood up and walked over to her closet. She hadn’t been able to wear any of these dresses since before the war. She grabbed a few of them and threw them at Rey, pointing her to the bathroom. Hesitantly, Rey walked into the refresher.

She looked at the dresses she splayed out over the counter. She decided to just go from left to right, she had no idea what she would look good in or what style she would like.

The first dress was a light pink short t-shirt dress. The sleeves had little ruffles on it and puffed up off her shoulders. It cinched in at the waist and accentuated her curves. When she put it on she felt like a completely different person. She couldn’t remember the last time she wore a dress, maybe she never had.

She walked out of the bathroom and the three instantly stopped their conversation. Finn stared at her dumbfounded. She looked beautiful. 

“You look amazing! Do you like it?” Rose asked.

“Yes it’s very pretty, I-It’s just really short and it doesn’t really feel like...me.” Rey replied.

“I like it.” Poe added before Rey turned around and reentered the bathroom.

Time for dress number two. Rey put it on and stared at herself in the mirror. It didn’t look like anything she would ever wear. It hugged her every curve and showed off her breasts. It was a dark magenta and every inch of it was covered in sequins. She felt incredibly self conscious as she slowly turned the knob to leave the room and show her friends. She stumbled into the room. Poe giggled.

“I can already tell you hate the dress.” Poe said.

“It’s just so tight,” she threw her hands up in defeat, “and short!”

“I think it’s pretty.” Finn mumbled. Rey looked at him and smiled.

“It’s a no from me.” Rose added.

Rey took the walk of shame back to the bathroom to try on the last dress. Hopefully this one felt more like her otherwise she would have to go with the first dress. Never in a million years would she ever put a dress like number two on again. 

She looked at the last dress and smiled. It was an off-white with a beautiful purple floral print on it. It was longer and had sleeves like number one. She slipped it on. It was the most comfortable and the most pretty. She tied the small belt around her waist making her look even more skinny. She twirled around in front of the mirror and felt it flow around her calves. She instantly loved it.

She walked out of the bathroom, way more confidently then number one and two.

“That. Is. Stunning! It looks better on you than me!” Rose squealed. 

“I love this one.” 

“Does that mean you’re going?” Poe smirked as he asked.

“I guess it does.” Rey smiled back.

Rose walked over to her closet again. “Not with your dirty old boots you aren’t. Wear these.” 

Rey grabbed the shoes. They were lavender heels with a small strap of crystals across the toes.

“These are beautiful,” Rey hugged her. “Thank you so much, Rose.” 

•••

For the few days between their fight and the party, Ben slept in a spare room he found that first night. It was small, but he didn’t care. He needed time to cool off and be away from Rey for a while. 

He heard that there was going to be a party on Friday but he didn’t know if he wanted to go. It was a party that was essentially celebrating his defeat, his failure. Even though he didn’t feel like Kylo Ren anymore, he knew almost everyone at that party would think he still was. Additionally he didn’t want to see Rey. He was still mad at her but he was mostly mad at himself for letting himself choke Finn in front of her. No matter how angry he was, he didn’t want Rey to see that side of him anymore.

Maybe he would just go for a little bit, he was bored in his room all day. Maybe Rey wouldn’t even go.

Rey and Ben had gone back to Exegol and grabbed the rest of his clothes and stuff from his ship, on one of the first days he arrived. He rummaged through his bag until he found his “fancy clothes.” It consisted of a pair of black dress pants, a black button up, a black tie, and a matching black jacket to go on top. Of course, everything was black.

He never thought he would wear this suit again. He didn’t even know if it was appropriate for a party.

•••

8:00 came way too fast for Rey and Ben. Both of them were hoping the other wouldn’t attend the party.

Rey got ready with Rose in her quarters. Rose decided on a light blue, long sleeve dress and a pair of sparkly silver heels. She put her hair up into a complicated updo while Rey decided on leaving her hair down for once and not her usually three buns. They both wore a silver necklace and matching earrings, both sets were Rose’s. She slipped on her own dress and heels and they walked out together. They met up with Poe and Finn before going to the party. Poe was dressed in the classic black and white tux with a splash of color, a red tie. Finn decided on a dark grey tux and a light blue dress shirt underneath. 

“You guys look amazing!” Rey exclaimed.

“So do you guys!” they replied together. They all laughed and made their way to the cafeteria where they were having the party.

It took quite a few people to completely empty out the cafeteria and decorate it accordingly. They strung up some vines from the forest around the room and added fairy lights. On the right there was a small bar where an Ishi Tib was serving drinks. In the front of the room, there was a band playing some light classical music. They really amped up the place, it didn’t look like some run down cafeteria anymore. It looked like something out of a fairytale.

The four walked in and were greeted with a few smiles. Rey was feeling a tad overwhelmed, but felt better that she was there with her friends. She glanced around the room to see if Ben was there. Why would he come if he had no one to go with?

As they made their rounds around the room, Poe wanted to go dance. He went up to the band and told them to crank it up. It was a party after all. They started playing an upbeat jazz tune and everyone on the dance floor started dancing. Poe grabbed Rey's hand, Finn grabbing Rose, and walked out onto the floor. 

Of course Poe was a natural, Rey not so much, but she was having fun. This was the first time in a while that she was just having fun and doing something other than trying to survive. Tonight seemed to be full of firsts. 

While dancing with her friends she glanced around the room to see if Ben had showed up. She saw nothing until she looked towards the bar. He was sitting on a stool at the bar by himself. Everyone around him stayed at least one seat away. She quickly looked away before Ben could notice her staring. What she didn’t realize was that seconds before he was staring at her.

It annoyed him even more to see her in a beautiful dress like that, dancing with someone else other than him. He ordered another bubblezap and spun around on his chair so he was facing the dance floor.

Ben looked over at Rey. She looked absolutely stunning, and he had too much pride to put his feelings away and go dance with her.

Rey was too angry and stubborn to go over to the bar and talk to him. 

“Does anyone want anything from the bar? On me.” Rose asked. She took everyone’s orders and walked over to the bar. She sat right next to Ben. The bartender came over and she gave him her group’s drink orders. Ben looked over at Rose. Why did she have to choose the seat right next to him?

“So, how’s it going?” Rose confidently asked.

“Fine.” he made a point to sound that he didn’t want to talk.

Rose spun around to face the dance floor like he was. Rey, Finn and Poe were all dancing together. “She looks great, right. It's my dress so...that’s probably why.”

“She always looks beautiful.” Ben mumbled.

Rose smiled. “You guys should definitely make up and make out.” Ben gave her a confused look. “Or...just go ask her to dance.”

He looked over at her again, but couldn’t bring himself to get up and walk to her. “I can’t. She’s angry with me. I-I don’t want to make her uncomfortable.”

“The only way it’s going to get better, is if you make an effort to fix things with her.” Rose said before she stood up, grabbed the drinks, and walked back to her friends.

Ben continued to watch Rey. Maybe he should try and make things right. 

He stood from the bar and hesitantly made his way over to her. As he was walking to her, he spotted a man that looked way too familiar. Maybe he just saw him around the base a lot. He continued walking, but was hit with the realization of who this man really was. 

Ben quickly changed his direction, going straight towards the man. As soon as he realized who was coming for him he quickly walked out of the door. As soon as he made it out, he began running through the hallway. Ben didn’t want to make a scene so he walked to the door and started sprinting only after he made it out of the room. 

The man didn’t get very far. Ben used the force to slam him against the side of the hallway and he fell to the floor. Before he could get up, Ben was standing above him. 

“Look man. I’m sorr-” Before he could finish, Ben waved his hand across his face, leaving him unconscious. He couldn’t do this out in the open, he needed to bring him to the empty room he had been sleeping in.

Ben picked the man up, flung him over his shoulder and made his way to the room.

As soon as he entered, he threw him on the floor and tied his wrists up with his tie. Ben shook him awake. The man slowly gained consciousness, not knowing where he was. Panic came over his face as he realized who was keeping him captive.

“Why were you trying to kill me?” Ben forcefully asked. The man said nothing. He asked him again and smacked him across the face when he said nothing.

“It’s because…You are a horrible person. Y-You killed my entire family. You don’t deserve a second chance. You don’t deserve to live here.” Ben’s hands rolled into fists and he felt his anger rise higher and higher through his body.

“You shut up.” Ben huffed. “You hit Rey, not even me.”

“I wasn’t trying to shoot Rey. It was an accident. I wanted to kill you because you are a horrible person.”

“BE QUIET.” Ben yelled. “I’m a different person-”

“No you’re not. You’re still the same punk bitch that took over the entire galaxy just to kill everyone.”

Using the force, Ben lifted him off the ground and choked him. The man kicked and clawed at the invisible hands around his throat. Ben couldn’t control his anger. It just kept getting worse, he needed to let it out the only way he knew how. 

He stuck his hand out and started rummaging through his thoughts, like he had many times before. He saw how he had killed his family on Raysho, a few years back. He saw how he joined the Resistance after that to do everything in his power to try and get rid of the First Order. He despised Ben and everything the First Order stood for. As he continued to rummage, he saw something that caught his eye. It was a meeting, in the depths of the forest. He was talking to another man. They were talking about killing Ben. The man pulled out a blaster. He couldn’t make out the face at first, but when he did, he quickly pulled out of the man's mind. 

“Finn. You were working with Finn.” Ben stated. The man smiled, Ben waved his hand and he fell on the floor, unconscious. 

Ben stormed out of the room, he needed to find Rey. Finn is the reason she was hurt, he needed to pay. He was fuming as he made his way back to the party room. He tried to calm himself down so people wouldn’t be frightened by the look of him. 

He looked around the crowd and quickly found Rey. She had her arms about Finn’s neck, his around her waist. They were slow dancing. This only made Ben even more angry to see them in such an intimate moment. 

He took a deep breath and bolted at them. Who knows what he would do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here are the dresses I used for Rey:
> 
> first dress  
> https://www.lulus.com/products/elsie-mauve-pink-puff-sleeve-mini-dress/781982.html
> 
> second dress  
> https://www.lulus.com/products/hilaria-fuchsia-sequin-bodycon-mini-dress/833862.html
> 
> third dress  
> https://www.lulus.com/products/french-countryside-blush-floral-print-high-low-dress/596832.html
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	8. After Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a short chapter for y’all. I’ve been really uninspired lately so it’s been hard for me to write. Sorry!
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> xoxo  
> rylee

_Ben woke up to a loud crash. He sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. Slowly he regained his consciousness and remembered he was on the Millennium Falcon with his dad._

_Han had asked him to go along with him on one of his jobs. He told Ben, who was only ten at the time, that this job wasn’t dangerous like some of his other ones. Ben had been staying with Chewie on the Falcon while Han was god knows where. He left him there on the ship for a few days, on a planet he didn’t know. Rather than go explore the planet, Ben decided to just stay on the ship. He wanted to be there when his father got back._

_Ben got out of bed and walked out of his small quarters. He looked around to try and find the source of the crash. He walked around the halls until he made it to the main living area. Chewie was sitting on the couch with Han._

_“Dad!” Ben ran to his father and wrapped his arms around him. He smelled like liquor and sweat. When he pulled away he realized his leather jacket was covered in a dark red liquid._

_“Hello Ben.” Han rested his head on Ben’s head and ruffled up his hair. Ben pulled away and flattened his now messy back down._

_“What happened? Where were you for so long? It’s been 3 days! Mom’s probably so worried and-”_

_“Ben. Enough. I’ve had a rough few days.”_

_“But, Dad-” Han walked away from Ben, to the cockpit, before he could finish._

_He was always like this. He never told Ben anything that was happening. Ben hated that Han thought he couldn’t handle stories of his job. If you could even call it a job._

_Han couldn’t trust anyone with the information he gained in his work. Quickly, Ben gained his father's skepticism. He quickly began to never trust anyone anymore, not even his own parents. They never told him anything straight, it was always some made up story or nothing at all._

_If they could do it, so could he._

•••

Ben took a deep breath and bolted at them. Who knows what he would do next.

He pushed his way through the crowd until he came face to face with the man that shot _his_ Rey.

“Ben...Hi.” Rey forgot for a moment that they were supposed to be in a fight. She looked at him and saw just how handsome he looked in his tux. It hugged his body in all the right spots. It highlighted his strong broad shoulders and his muscular arms. He looked positively striking. Rey quickly realized she was gawking at him and turned her gaze back to Finn. He was staring at the floor not wanting to make eye contact with the man who strangled him the other day.

Without another word, Ben grabbed Finn by the collar of his tux and brought him forward, until they were face to face.

Behind them, Poe and Rose quickly stepped up next to Rey.

“Woah what’s happening?!” Rose exclaimed. Poe placed his arm between them, trying to break their connection. Ben was far too strong to break it. 

“Ben. Stop. Now.” Rey stated firmly. She thought that he would listen to her. But today was not the case.

Ben grabbed his collar even tighter and dragged him through the crowd. He used his spare hand to gently force everyone out of his way. He didn’t have time to ask politely, he no longer cared if he caused a scene at the party. 

Rey quickly ran to catch up with him, Poe and Rose following close behind. Ben dragged him throughout the hallways towards his spare room.

“Ben!” Rey yelled from behind him. He ignored her and continued to walk. 

Before Rey could even understand what was happening, she, Rose and Poe were slammed against the hall. They fell down to the floor and rubbed at their sore spots that were just created by the impact. Rey looked back at the hallway and noticed Ben had disappeared behind one of the doors.

“What the hell is going on, Rey?” Poe asked.

Rose nodded before adding, “Does this have to do with your fight or something?”

“I don’t know guys!” It came out louder than she expected. “I don’t know. He wouldn’t do this because he’s just jealous. There has to be a better explanation. He is different now. H-He doesn’t just hurt people because... he wants to, now.” Rey abruptly stood up. As she got up she felt an immense pain shoot from her head to her feet. She held onto the wall for support. She must have slammed against the wall harder than she thought. That only made her even more angry at Ben’s actions so far tonight. 

As she started to feel slightly less dizzy, she started walking towards where Ben was walking to.

“Rey, wait. We can go together.” Rose said from the floor. Rey kept on walking and ignored Rose and Poe. 

She felt Ben’s force signature in a room down the hall and made her way there. It grew stronger and stronger as she got closer to the room. Rey knew that he was angry. His force signature is always a lot more strong when he’s sad or angry. She was guessing it was the latter.

She stood in front of the door that Ben was in. She slowly turned the knob to peek into the room.

•••

“Ben. Hi.” Rey spoke softly. Guess they were still fighting. Ben finally got to see her dress up close. It looked so amazing on her, Ben had to look away before he decided to pick her up, throw her over his shoulder and take her back to their quarters. If only they weren’t fighting. He averted his gaze to Finn, who was staring intently at the floor, not wanting to make eye contact. 

Before Ben could realize what he was doing, his hands were around Finn’s collar. He tugged him closer to his face. Ben could see the fear in Finn’s eyes. Using the force, he rummaged through his head. All it consisted of, was fear and regret. He found the exact memory he was looking for. Finn and the other man in the woods, talking about murdering Ben. 

He was fuming and his anger took over his body. He couldn’t even remember what anyone was saying from behind him. He blocked everything out until he heard Rey.

“Ben. Stop. Now.”

For a moment he considered letting him go and just telling him to come with. Finn’s fear faltered for a moment and that was all it took for Ben to fall over the edge of his anger. Ben gripped his collar and dragged him throughout the cafeteria. He pushed everyone out of his way and stormed back to his temporary residence.

He could sense Rey, Poe, and Rose following close behind, but paid them no attention. He was so close to his room and he could finally let his anger out. Almost there.

“Ben!” Rey shouted from behind him. He couldn’t let her see what he was going to do to him. Before Rey would have been able to sense it, he slammed the three against the wall to the left. They all fell with a thud. Maybe that was too hard. He didn’t want to cause Rey anymore pain. Only Finn.

He marched into the room still holding onto Finn. He threw his arm around so Finn was facing him. He used the force to ram him into the back wall, feet dangled off the floor. 

“Ben, please listen. I-” Finn clawed at his neck as invisible hands were crushing his windpipe. 

“No. No Finn. You don’t get to speak.” Ben started. There was a darkness in his eyes that was searing into Finn’s soul. “You are the reason Rey was hurt. She could have died! It’s your fault I almost lost her!” He hadn’t realized that he was starting to tear up. An emotional dam in his chest was ready for break. “You are the reason we are fighting too. You are the reason she’s mad at me.” Finn tried to speak but the pressure around his neck didn’t allow any noise to come through.

Ben loosened his grip so some oxygen could come through, “Ben…P-Please,” only to be cut off again. 

“Everyone is going to know exactly the kind of person you are. Everyone thinks you’ve changed from a stormtrooper to some perfect resistance fighter. It’s bullshit. You’re just like everyone else.” He took a deep breath and smiled. “You’re just like me. You want revenge. You want vengeance and you will do anything to get it. I’m. not. dead. You failed.” At that moment Rey walked in, stunned at the sight of Finn pressed against the wall and struggling to breathe. She saw the darkness and rage in Ben’s eyes. He looked like that night on the Starkiller base, in the forest. He looked like he was going to kill Finn. 

Ben noticed she was standing in the doorway and let Finn fall to the floor. He turned and stared at Rey, taking a deep breath. 

“What do you mean h-he failed?” Rey mumbled, just loud enough for Ben to hear. He took a step towards her and tried to grab her hand. She quickly backed up and shook her head. “No. You need to tell me what’s going on. You look like...like you want to kill me.”

Confusion washed over his face. He did want to kill someone, but he would never want to kill Rey. Well, not anymore at least. 

“Finn is the dangerous one. He-”

“Don’t listen to him, Rey.” Finn interrupted. Ben turned around and gave Finn the deadliest glare he has ever seen. Ben used the force to shove him against the wall again. Rey made an attempt to run over to Finn but before she could make it anywhere, Ben grabbed her wrist. She pulled her arm free and stared at him.

“Tell me what the hell is going on, right now!” 

“Finn…is the reason you were shot, Rey.” 

Rey’s face turned to shock. “What. What do you mean?”

“He was with the guy who shot you. He’s the one who bought the weapon that was supposed to KILL me. He thought of the whole plan. Get me alone, as soon as possible, and shoot me because he knows I couldn’t deflect it.” Rey looked at Finn in disbelief. Her best friend couldn’t have done this. 

“No. No, he couldn’t have. Finn, did...you try to k-kill him?” 

Without replying, Finn looked to the ground, shamefully. Rey looked away from him as tears started spilling from her eyes.

“Rey, I-I can explain.” Finn exclaimed.

“You can explain why you decided to try and kill my boyfriend!?” Ben quickly turned his head at the sound of Rey calling him her boyfriend. Does that mean she forgave him for everything that happened a few days ago. But, that moment wasn’t the time to ask her that.

“He hasn’t changed, Rey! He’s still the same Kylo Ren. He’s a horrible person. How do you not see that?”

“You shut up-” Ben started before Rey put her hand up to stop him from talking.

“He’s trying, Finn. He may not always be perfect,” Rey glanced over to Ben. “but he’s trying, unlike you. You won’t even give him a chance. You just decide to...to kill him before you even get to know him.” Finn stared back at her, both of them already crying. Rey took a deep breath before continuing. “If you can’t come to accept him...then maybe you need to leave the base.”

“What? You want me to leave?” Finn was hurt at her requests.

“I just want you to stop! I want you to stop always having an ulterior motive. From the beginning you lied to me. I want it to stop or…you need to leave.” 

“Rey, I-I’m sorry for hurting you, but…he hasn’t changed.” He stood up and walked towards the door. “You’ll see that one day. I won’t get in your way anymore.” He walked out of the door and left Rey and Ben alone in his room. 

Rey looked over to Ben, who was leaning against the wall. She went over to him and looked intently in his eyes. The darkness that had taken over him, finally dissipated. He looked into her honey brown eyes and then glanced down to her rosy lips. Rey wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him to her, in an embrace. She wasn’t fully ready to forgive him yet, but it was a start. He placed his arms around her waist and hugged tight. She let him go, went on her tiptoes and gently kissed his cheek. She turned towards the door. Before leaving, she glanced back at him and gave him a soft smile.

Down the hall was Rose and Poe. They came running over when they saw her.

“What happened?” Rose asked. Rey continued walking past them without replying. 

“Rey.” Poe grabbed Rey’s hand. “Please tell us what’s going on.” 

Rey turned and looked at them. “Finn is not who I thought he was.” At that, she pulled her hand free and walked past them.

  
  



	9. Repercussions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it’s been a while since I updated but I’ve had ZERO motivation.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!  
> xoxo  
> rylee

After the chaos that occurred last night, the party was ultimately finished. Everyone went back to their quarters after a long night of drinking and dancing.

No one could find Finn. No one knew what happened last night except him, Rey, and Ben. No one knew why he wasn’t who Rey thought he was.

Poe decided to go find Finn himself. He knew the places he liked to go to be alone. It wasn’t often, but everyone needs their alone time. Additionally, he wasn’t seen at all around camp, so he had to be elsewhere. Poe always had a connection with Finn, from the beginning when he helped him escape from the First Order on the Starkiller base. They have been the best of friends ever since. Maybe even more, but neither of them would admit that.

Making his way across the base, Poe found Rose working on a broken down speeder. 

It took a moment for her to realize he was standing there. “Hey Poe! Have you seen Finn anywhere?” 

“Nope, it seems that no one has.”

“Hm. I wonder what happened last night.” Rose set down her datapad before continuing. “It was so bizarre.”

“I know. I’m going to go try and find him. I’ll tell you if I find anything out.”

“Sounds good. See you later Poe.” She waved to him.

He gave her a curt nod and was on his way. He walked past the rest of the ships and went through the jungle. He stopped upon seeing a bush with beautiful blue and purple flowers. The entire bush was covered in them. Quickly, Poe contemplated whether to pick one or not. He chose to grab the most perfect one he could find. He held it in his hand for the rest of the journey of finding Finn.

He rounded the building that housed the entire resistance. The building was built into the side of a hill with one wall facing outwards to the jungle. He walked around the hill until he saw the edges of a large pond shadowed by tall trees. There he found a rather lonely Finn sitting on the outer banks of the pond. His boots were off and his feet were dangling over into the water.

“Hey Finn! We have been looking everywhere for you.” Poe shouted.

Finn looked up from the ground to Poe. “Hi. Sorry...I just wanted to be away from everything and everyone” 

Poe took a seat next to Finn also removing his boots and sinking his feet into the warm water. “So...what, ah, what happened last night?”

“I did something stupid. But, I did it because I believe in what I was fighting for.” Finn calmly stated. 

Almost immediately, Poe replied, “Specifics, please.” Finn averted his eyes back to the pond. “You can tell me anything Finn.” Poe grabbed the flower from earlier and placed it on Finn’s thigh along with his hand.

Finn looked back at him with a slight smile, taking the flower and placing it in his coat pocket, making sure not to crush the petals. “You’re going to look at me differently. Poe, it’s bad.” 

“It’s okay Finn. I won’t think any less of you. I promise.” Poe replied as he took Finn’s hand.

“I-I tried to kill Ben.” 

Finn told Poe everything that happened those past few days. He told him about the bad feeling he felt about Ben right from the start. He told him about the meeting he had with the other resistance fighter. The advanced weapon that could get past any force user. His plans for getting him alone. He told him about how it was all his fault that Rey got shot and that she was hurt. Poe only sat and listened, occasionally adding a “hm” or nod of his head. Next, Finn told him all about his encounter with Ben after the party. How Rey found out about him in the most horrible way possible. About how he never wanted her to learn about it like that. He didn’t want her to find out at all. 

For once in his life, Poe didn’t know what to say. Finn noticed he was struggling to say something and swiftly looked away, placing his head in his hands. “I told you it was bad.”

Poe placed his hand on Finn’s back, gently rubbing small circles. “Finn, thank you for telling me. I’m not saying what you did was right but…I guess I understand why you did it.” Finn removed his face from his hands and looked up at Poe. “Why do you have such a bad feeling about Ben?”

“I don’t really know. He just emits this dark energy whenever I see him. I think he’s going to hurt Rey. I don’t know, I probably sound crazy…”

“No, no Finn. Not at all.” Poe giggled quietly.

“What's so funny?”

Poe stopped laughing. “What if you’re force sensitive. Try and move that rock over there.” He pointed to a small rock across the pond.

“Poe, I’m not doing that.” Finn replied firmly.

“Fine. Sorry. Everyone at the base has been looking everywhere for you. Rose has been trying to find you.”

“I was kind of worried…that Ben would come after me again. He was really mad. I mean it’s my fault Rey was shot.”

“It’s okay Finn. She’ll forgive you.”

Before Poe could continue talking, Finn interrupted. “I don’t know if she will.” His eyes were on the pond again, lightly moving his feet back and forth in the water. “Maybe I should try and apologize to him. But, it could make things worse. What if he tries to kill me?”

“Rey wouldn’t let that happen. You’re still her best friend.”

“I guess. I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Do you wanna take your mind off things?” Finn turned back to Poe and nodded. “They need some helpers to take down all the decorations from the party.”

“What if Rey and Ben are there?”

“I’m guessing they have a lot to talk about, but if they do, I'll be there with you.” Poe stood up and helped Finn up. As soon as he was on his feet, Finn wrapped his arms around Poe and pulled him into a tight embrace. 

“Thank you.” Poe pulled away and smiled. They put their socks and shoes back on in a comfortable silence. Hand in hand, they made their way back to the base.

•••

The night of the party, Rey shot up out of bed. She looked at her night stand and saw it was only 2:00 am. Something felt off, the energy all around her felt different, almost angry. She had the sudden urge to go find Ben. That night, she found out where he had been sleeping for those past few nights, the blankets in the corner gave it away. She decided to head in that direction.

The hallways were freezing, the air felt heavy. She shivered as she jogged to Ben’s makeshift room. Quickly, she found the door he had taken Finn into the night before. Without knocking she opened the door and stepped inside. There was Ben, on the floor, shaking. Rey quickly ran over to him and placed her hand on his chest to stop him from shaking. He was covered in sweat and was breathing heavily.

“Ben. Wake up. You’re dreaming.” She lightly shook him until his eyes shot open.

“Rey.” His eyes were filled with sorrow and regret. He wrapped his arms around her body and nuzzled his head in the crook of her neck. She hugged him back for what felt like hours, but was only a few moments. Once he calmed down, he released her.

“Were you having a bad dream?” Rey asked softly.

“Yes. It was...horrible.” 

She grabbed his hands and rested them on her thighs. “Do you want to talk about it?” Ben nodded.

“I-I killed you. In cold blood.” Rey's eyes widened, but she tried to remain calm at the news. “Rey, I promise I would never hurt you again. I-I...I wouldn’t do that.”

“I know.” She looked into his eyes and gently stroked his hair. “Do you want to go back to our quarters? You will be more comfortable there.” Ben looked up at her and smiled, nodding. Rey stood up and helped Ben up. The air changed around them. It was no longer cold and heavy, it felt warm, full of love.

They walked back to their quarters hand in hand. As soon as they got into bed, their exhaustion overtook them and were asleep within minutes.

•••

Rey woke up before Ben and got breakfast and caf like she did before. When she got back to the room, Ben was up and putting on a clean t-shirt.

“Oh you’re up. I got breakfast.” 

“Thank you.” Ben took the bagel, fruit, and caf from Rey. They both sat at the small table on the side of the room. “Um…I’ve been thinking. How did you know I was having a nightmare last night?” 

Rey looked up from her muja muffin. “I don’t really know. I guess, I just felt your energy. It woke me up and it felt like I needed to find you. I felt your rage.” Ben looked away from her face and looked at the ground. Rey grabbed Ben’s hand from across the table. 

“Ben, it’s okay. I know you’re not going to hurt me.”

“You don’t know that! I could kill you. What if I was going to last night and you woke up before I could. What if that’s why you woke up?” 

“Ben, I don’t know. Nothing happened after we went back here and slept. It probably was just a dream.”

“The last time I had a dream that felt that real, it came true and you got shot! You want to know what I did in my dream.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “I grabbed my lightsaber and walked all the way to your room and stabbed it through your heart while you were sleeping. You’re eyes shot open and you looked up at me. You looked so scared. I didn’t even realize what I was doing. I still feel the darkness in me, Rey. You have to stay away from me.”

“No I won’t do that. I trust you, Ben.”

“Well… I don’t trust myself.” They sat in silence while they ate the rest of their breakfast. Rey didn’t know what to say. She wanted to think that he would never hurt her again, but a part of her thought that maybe what he was saying might be true. She would never tell him that though. He needed to think she trusted him blindly. 

After they both finished eating Rey finally spoke up. “When I was in the mess hall to get breakfast, it looked like they needed some more helpers to clean. They put so many decorations up, it’s going to take them forever. Maybe we can go help. Take your mind off things.”

“Okay.” Ben got up and went to the bathroom to freshen up. Rey changed her clothes quickly and they both met up in the center of the room. They walked out together and made their way to the cafeteria. When they walked in the place was still covered in decorations. People were up on ladders getting the lights down. Some were bringing tables back for people to eat at. Others were packing away the alcohol from the bar.

“We could get this done in ten minutes.” Ben laughed. “All we have to do is use the force.”

Rey walked over to the man who was on the ladder. “Hey. Me and Ben can take all those lights down. It would be much easier.” The man nodded and climbed down the ladder. 

Using the force, they pulled all the lights down around the room, spun them into circles and created a pile in the middle of the room. When they were done with that, they started dragging the tables to the center of the room. Just as they started on the second table, Poe and Finn entered. Ben’s attention immediately switched to Finn. They made eye contact and Finn tried to back up. Poe noticed that Ben was there and grabbed Finn’s hand so he couldn’t leave. Rey turned around and saw Finn and Poe from across the room. She rested her hand on Ben’s back.

“Ben…” Rey looked up at him. She saw the anger that was in his eyes, it was radiating off of him.

“I’m not going to do anything stupid, Rey.” He turned back around and helped with the table again. She still felt the anger encompassing Ben, but he was trying to control it. 

Finn started to walk over towards Rey and Ben. Rey quickly turned around and ran towards him.

“Finn, he’s...he’s angry right now. You’re gonna make it worse.” She tried to hold him back.

“No, I need to talk to him.” He kept walking towards Ben, who was still facing the other way. “I wanted to say that I was sorry. I’m sorry that I tried to have you killed. I know it was wrong.”

“You shouldn’t be apologizing to me.” Ben kept his focus on the table in front of him. If he turned around and saw his face, he would kill him right then and there.

“What?” 

“Apologize to Rey. She’s the one that got shot because of you.” 

Finn turned around and looked at Rey. She was standing uncomfortably next to Poe in the center of the room. 

“Rey, you know I never meant to hurt you. I’m sorry. I’m truly sorry. I just get a weird feeling from Ben. I think… he’s going to hurt you.”

“I can take care of myself. And I trust him. I know he won’t hurt me. But, I accept your apology.” 

By now, the whole room was watching the scene. “Can we just go back to the way things were?” Finn asked earnestly. 

“I don’t think we can ever get back to the place we were before.” She walked past Finn and stopped next to Ben. “Let’s just get this place cleaned.” Finn and Poe walked to the other side of the room to help with the bar and Rey and Ben continued with the tables. As they started to work, the rest of the room went back to their duties.

In a few hours, the mess hall looked exactly as it had before the party. Rey and Ben went back to their quarters for lunch. Poe and Finn met up with Rose and caught her up with the events that happened during the party.

“You tried to kill Ben!”

“Shhhhh, I don’t want the whole camp to find out.” Finn said lowly. 

“I can’t believe you did that. Where did you even get that type of gun?”

“I asked around if anyone knew a weapon guy and I met him at a cantina and he told me he had a weapon that can kill force sensitives. I didn’t believe him at first, but it worked. You can't tell anyone Rose. I’m serious.”

“I know. I know. You should try to get to know Ben. I can tell he really loves Rey.”

“I don’t think he would let me. He hates me.”

“Well you gotta start somewhere.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! If you have any suggestions or ideas leave them in the comments!
> 
> xoxo  
> rylee


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